Meaning & use
be the bigger person
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Meaning
phrasefixed phrase
To act with maturity and kindness in a conflict, instead of reacting angrily or trying to get even.
Grammar: Used as a predicate; often follows 'try to' or 'want to'. The verb 'be' changes: 'She was the bigger person.'
Patterns
- be the bigger person
- try to be the bigger person
- be the bigger person and do something
After the argument, he decided to be the bigger person and apologize first.
It's hard to be the bigger person when someone is rude to you, but it usually helps.
She was the bigger person and didn't respond to the mean comment.
Common combinations
- be the bigger person and apologize
- Even though she was right, she was the bigger person and apologized.
- try to be the bigger person
- I try to be the bigger person when my brother starts arguing.
- decide to be the bigger person
- He decided to be the bigger person and walk away.
- be the bigger person in an argument
- It's not always easy to be the bigger person in an argument.
Synonyms and how they differ
- take the high road
- This idiom means to choose a morally good response, often in a conflict, but it focuses on the action rather than on being a mature person.
- turn the other cheek
- This suggests not fighting back when someone hurts you, but it has a more passive, religious tone than 'be the bigger person'.
Opposites
Commonly confused: be the bigger person or be a big person?
be the bigger person vs be a big person
This usually refers to physical size or importance, not to maturity in a conflict. 'Be the bigger person' is the set phrase for handling a disagreement gracefully.
Practice
Which sentence uses the idiom correctly?
Choose one answer.
The idiom means acting maturely in a conflict, so listening calmly fits. The other options either use physical size or act immaturely.
Make it your own
Write a sentence using “be the bigger person”, then check it and compare it with the examples above.