butter someone up

Meanings

1. 1phraseidiominformal

   Praise or flatter someone insincerely so that they will help you or agree with you.

   Grammar: The object usually comes between butter and up: butter the boss up. With a pronoun it must: butter her up.

   Patterns

   • butter someone up
   • butter up someone

   He spent the whole lunch buttering up the manager before asking for a raise.

   She tried to butter me up with compliments, but I knew she wanted a favor.

   Stop buttering up the teacher and just do the work.

2. 2phraseidiominformal

   To make someone feel good by giving them praise, sometimes honestly and kindly.

   Grammar: Used in the same pattern; here the tone is softer and less critical.

   Patterns

   • butter someone up

   A little note of thanks can butter up a tired volunteer.

   He buttered up his grandmother with stories about her cooking.

Common combinations

butter someone up with compliments

He buttered her up with compliments about her presentation.

try to butter someone up

Don't try to butter me up; I've already made my decision.

butter up the boss

They were all buttering up the boss before the promotion list came out.

butter someone up before asking a favor

She buttered him up before asking a favor.

Synonyms and how they differ

flatter

Flatter is more neutral and can be sincere; butter up always suggests a hidden purpose.

sweet-talk

Sweet-talk is similar but often means persuading with charm in speech, not only praise.

cajole

Cajole is more formal and means persuading by coaxing, often with promises rather than flattery.

Opposites

Word family

butter noun

The soft yellow food made from cream; the idiom comes from spreading butter smoothly.

Commonly confused: butter someone up or butter up?

Practice

Make it your own

Write a sentence using “butter someone up”, then check it and compare it with the examples above.

Explore more words