Meaning & use
kill 'em with kindness
Last updated
Meaning
phraseidiominformal
to respond to someone's bad behavior with warmth and generosity, often to make them feel ashamed or to win them over.
Grammar: Used as a fixed expression, often as an imperative or after 'to'. It does not take an object directly; the person is understood from context.
Patterns
- kill 'em with kindness
- try to kill 'em with kindness
- kill them with kindness
When my coworker kept making rude comments, I decided to kill 'em with kindness and compliment her work every day.
Instead of arguing back, he killed 'em with kindness and offered to help with the project.
The best way to handle a bully is sometimes to kill 'em with kindness.
Common combinations
- kill 'em with kindness
- She killed 'em with kindness by baking cookies for the whole team.
- try to kill 'em with kindness
- He tried to kill 'em with kindness, but they just ignored him.
- decide to kill 'em with kindness
- After the argument, she decided to kill 'em with kindness and send a friendly text.
- the idea of killing 'em with kindness
- The idea of killing 'em with kindness sounds nice, but it takes patience.
Synonyms and how they differ
- turn the other cheek
- This means not to retaliate when someone hurts you, but it does not include the active warmth and generosity of killing 'em with kindness.
- take the high road
- This means to choose the morally better response, but it is more about avoiding petty behavior than about being kind to the other person.
Opposites
Commonly confused: kill 'em with kindness or kill with kindness?
kill 'em with kindness vs kill with kindness
This is a less common variant that can sound more literal or old-fashioned. 'Kill 'em with kindness' is the standard informal phrase.
Practice
Which sentence uses the idiom 'kill 'em with kindness' correctly?
Choose one answer.
The idiom means to respond with warmth and generosity, so bringing coffee and asking about their day fits. The other options describe rude or cold behavior, which is the opposite of the idiom.
Make it your own
Write a sentence using “kill 'em with kindness”, then check it and compare it with the examples above.