Demur vs. demure: how these two words differ

The short answer

Demur and demure look alike but belong to different parts of speech and carry different meanings. Demur is a verb meaning to object, hesitate, or show reluctance before agreeing to something. Demure is an adjective describing a person or manner that is modest, quiet, and reserved. If you mean someone raised an objection, use demur or demurred; if you mean someone seemed shy or modestly dressed, use demure instead.

What each word means

Demur functions mainly as a verb, and rarely as a formal legal noun meaning an objection. To demur is to voice polite disagreement or to delay agreeing to a plan, as in 'The committee demurred, asking for more time to review the budget.' It often pairs with 'at' or 'to,' as in 'She demurred at the idea of working weekends.'

Demure is always an adjective, describing reserved, modest behavior or a modest style of dress. A demure smile is understated rather than showy, and a demure outfit covers more than it reveals. The word carries a slightly old-fashioned, formal tone, so it shows up more often in descriptive writing than in casual speech.

Demur and demure in a sentence

Because the words look similar, writers sometimes reach for the wrong one. Correct: 'He demurred when his manager suggested skipping the safety check.' Correct: 'The bride wore a demure lace dress with long sleeves.' Not: 'He was too demur to raise his hand,' which should read 'too demure' since the sentence describes shyness, not objection. Not: 'She demured politely,' which should be 'demurred,' with the doubled r that the verb takes.

A spell checker will not always catch the mistake, because demur and demure are both real words, just the wrong ones for the sentence. Correct: 'The intern demurred, unwilling to submit the report before it was proofread.' Correct: 'His demure reply surprised the reporters who expected a sharp comeback.' Reading the sentence aloud and asking whether it describes an action or a manner usually settles which spelling belongs.

Where the mix-up comes from

Part of the confusion is historical: demur and demure both trace back to Old French words related to delaying or lingering, so the overlap in spelling is not an accident. Over centuries, demur kept its meaning of hesitation or objection, while demure drifted toward describing composed, modest behavior. Knowing they share a root will not tell you which one to use, but it explains why they still look so much alike today.

Remember it

Link the spelling to the part of speech: demur rhymes with 'blur' and is a verb about pushing back, while demure rhymes with 'obscure' and is an adjective about staying quiet and modest. If the sentence needs an action, such as objecting to a plan, reach for demur or demurred. If it needs a description of someone's manner, reach for demure.

A note on formal usage

Demur shows up in legal and business writing more than in casual conversation, often describing a formal objection to a proposal, motion, or claim. A lawyer might say a client 'demurred to the complaint,' meaning they formally challenged it. Demure, by contrast, is more common in descriptive or narrative writing, used to characterize a person's dress, expression, or manner. Keeping this register difference in mind can help you decide which word fits the tone of your sentence.