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Meaning & use

stand-offish

adjective·Advanceddisapproving

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UK/ˌstændˈɒfɪʃ/
US/ˌstændˈɔːfɪʃ/
Usage warning: this word is disapproving. It shows a negative opinion, so take care with who and what you use it about.

Meanings

  1. adjectivecomparabledisapproving

    behaving in a cool, distant way that makes others feel they are not welcome to get close.

    Grammar: Describes a person or their manner: a stand-offish neighbor, a stand-offish tone. Can be graded: rather stand-offish, more stand-offish than before.

    Patterns

    • be stand-offish with someone
    • seem stand-offish
    • come across as stand-offish

    At the first meeting he was stand-offish, answering questions with just a nod.

    She can seem stand-offish until you get to know her.

    The new manager was stand-offish with the staff for weeks.

  2. adjectivecomparable

    showing a lack of warmth or friendliness in a group or social setting.

    Grammar: Often used to describe an atmosphere or reception rather than a single person.

    Patterns

    • a stand-offish atmosphere
    • a stand-offish reception

    The party had a stand-offish atmosphere, with guests sticking to their own groups.

    His stand-offish manner made it hard for the team to relax.

Word forms

comparativemore stand-offish
superlativemost stand-offish

Common combinations

seem stand-offish
She may seem stand-offish, but she is just quiet.
be stand-offish with someone
He was stand-offish with the new interns at first.
come across as stand-offish
I don't mean to come across as stand-offish.
a stand-offish manner
His stand-offish manner kept people at a distance.

Synonyms and how they differ

aloof
Aloof suggests a deliberate emotional distance and is often used in more formal writing; stand-offish is more conversational and mildly critical.
distant
Distant can describe a lack of emotional closeness without suggesting unfriendliness; stand-offish usually implies others feel unwelcome.
cold
Cold is stronger and more clearly negative, suggesting no warmth at all; stand-offish is milder and can be temporary.

Opposites

friendlywarmapproachable

Word family

standoff noun
a situation in which neither side will move or agree, often a deadlock.
standoffishly adverb
in a cool, distant manner.
standoffishness noun
the quality of being cool and distant with others.

Commonly confused: stand-offish or standoff? stand-offish or off-putting?

stand-offish vs standoff

Standoff is a noun meaning a deadlock or a confrontation; stand-offish is an adjective describing a person's unfriendly manner.

stand-offish vs off-putting

Off-putting means making someone feel uneasy or dislike; stand-offish specifically means keeping others at an emotional distance.

Practice

Choose the best option: Although he is polite, he often ___ at first, so people think he is unfriendly.

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