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Meaning & use

whispering behind someone's back

phrase·Advanceddisapproving

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UK/ˌwɪspərɪŋ bɪˌhaɪnd sʌmwʌnz ˈbæk/
US/ˌwɪspərɪŋ bɪˌhaɪnd sʌmwʌnz ˈbæk/
Usage warning: this word is disapproving. It shows a negative opinion, so take care with who and what you use it about.

Meanings

  1. phraseidiomdisapproving

    Talking quietly about a person when they are not there and cannot hear what is said.

    Grammar: Used as a continuous action; the verb 'whisper' can also be used in other tenses, as in 'they whispered behind her back'.

    Patterns

    • whispering behind someone's back
    • whisper behind someone's back
    • be whispering behind someone's back

    I found out that the team had been whispering behind my back for weeks.

    Stop whispering behind your sister's back and say what you think to her face.

    He thought his colleagues liked him, but they were whispering behind his back about his mistakes.

  2. phraseidiomdisapproving

    The act of secretly saying unkind or critical things about an absent person.

    Grammar: Often used as a noun-like phrase after verbs such as 'be' or 'hate', for example 'I hate whispering behind someone's back'.

    Patterns

    • hate whispering behind someone's back
    • it's just whispering behind someone's back

    Whispering behind someone's back is a quick way to destroy trust in a group.

    What they call 'office politics' is often just whispering behind someone's back.

Common combinations

whisper behind someone's back
She whispered behind her friend's back, then smiled at her when she turned around.
talk behind someone's back
If you have a problem with me, tell me directly instead of talking behind my back.
say something behind someone's back
He said things behind her back that he would never dare repeat to her.
whispering in someone's ear
They spent the whole meeting whispering in each other's ear and glancing at me.
behind someone's back
They made the decision behind my back, without asking for my opinion.

Synonyms and how they differ

gossiping about someone
This focuses on spreading personal details or rumors, while 'whispering behind someone's back' stresses the secrecy and the fact that the person is absent.
backbiting
This is stronger and more formal; it means saying nasty things about someone who is not there, usually repeatedly.
bad-mouthing someone
This is informal and means openly criticizing someone to other people; it does not necessarily involve whispering.

Opposites

speaking to someone's facesaying something openly

Word family

whisper verb
to speak very quietly, using breath rather than full voice
whisper noun
a very quiet way of speaking, or something said in that way
whispering noun
the act or sound of speaking very quietly

Commonly confused: whispering behind someone's back or behind someone's back?

whispering behind someone's back vs behind someone's back

This shorter phrase means doing something without someone knowing, and it is not always about talking; 'whispering behind someone's back' is specifically about quiet, secret criticism.

Practice

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